Family Matching Features: Messaging

Messaging offers you a direct line of communication with your DNA matches, allowing you to uncover shared ancestry and exchange valuable information. In this guide we’ll explore the ins and outs of our messaging system covering everything from initiating contact to managing expectations and even setting boundaries.

Initiating Contact

When you decide to reach out to a match, you can do so by clicking on their name in the match list. The first tab of their profile will be your conversation.

Type your message in the ‘write a message’ box and click on ‘send’ to reach out to your match - it’s as simple as that!

You will need to click the ‘send’ button rather than pressing the enter key on your keyboard. We know that it can be exciting to message a new match, especially if they might be able to help you break through a pesky brick wall, so we built this physical click into the matching service to give you the opportunity to proofread your message before sending it.

When you’ve sent your message, we will send an email notification to the recipient, informing them that you’ve reached out.

Understanding non-responses

It’s important to acknowledge that not all matches will respond to your messages, and there could be various reasons behind this.

Some matches will be less active than others, and you can gauge this by looking at the trophy against their name on the match list.

Other matches may prioritise privacy and choose not to engage in communication.

Sometimes it’s as simple as a match being busy, or not checking their messages on a regular basis. Remember, the lack of a response doesn’t necessarily reflect on you.

Maximising Response Chances

There are a few ways you can increase your chances of getting a reply.

While it may be tempting to reach out to as many people as possible by copying and pasting the same message, we find that this approach actually receives fewer responses.

Instead, consider personalising your messages and showing genuine interest in your matches. If they have any information in their bio, or their shared maps are on, you could ask a question about some of the information there, and offer up some information about yourself or your family history as well.

By highlighting or asking about common family surnames, geographical locations, or maternal or paternal haplogroups, you might just spark curiosity and encourage engagement. Keep your messages concise, respectful, and open ended to invite conversation.

Managing disappointment

Reaching out to your genetic matches can be an emotional journey, particularly for those who have come up against a brick wall in their research, or are looking for specific family members. It is important to remember that receiving a message can be emotional as well, and your match may not be looking to form a connection.

It’s natural to feel disappointed if your match doesn’t reply, or if their response doesn’t meet your expectations. Remember that genetic genealogy is a collaborative process, and not every match will lead to groundbreaking discoveries.

Try to focus on the connections you do establish, and remain open to any unexpected outcomes you may encounter along the way.

Setting Boundaries

While connecting with your newly discovered relatives can be enriching, it’s still essential to prioritise your own comfort and wellbeing.

If you encounter any individuals who make you feel uncomfortable for any reason, or whose communication styles do not align with your preferences, you always have the option to block (or later un-block) them by clicking the handy ‘block’ button below the conversation.

Your match will not know you have blocked them, and we will never tell them you have done so. From their perspective, it will appear as though you have opted out of the matching service, removing yourself from the match list.

Blocking ensures that you can maintain a positive experience without confrontation or unwanted interactions.

If you are particularly uncomfortable with an interaction, you can report your match to us by emailing help@livingdna.com.

What's next?

Living DNA's messaging feature can be a powerful tool, opening the door to new discoveries and connections within your family tree. By approaching each interaction with respect, curiosity, and an open mind, you can maximise the potential of these connections to enhance your genealogical research.

Remember to communicate thoughtfully, share your stories, and celebrate every step of the journey, no matter how small.

Ultimately, the adventure of uncovering your genetic heritage can be a rewarding process, enriched by teh connections you make along the way, Embrace the journey, and happy researching!

Let us know...

Do you have a story about our family matching service? Have you found some unexpected relatives, or re-established contact with a lost branch of your family tree? We'd love to hear from you! Please email us at help@livingdna.com, or reach out through Facebook.